Tag Archives: babies

31 Years of Memories–Year 10.5

5/1991 – 12/1991

Second Act

In May, kindergartener Meghan auditioned for a part in the local production of Peter Pan. She won the notable role of the ant, which meant she crawled fully costumed across the stage, remained motionless at a designated spot, sang with the chorus, then curtseyed at the curtain call. During one seemingly endless practice, I calculated the total hours we spent—125 hours of rehearsal for her 30 seconds on stage—that did not include the two-minute curtain call.  On opening night, family and friends asked for Meg’s autograph, which took some time, as she painstakingly printed “Meghan Harrison” on each program. My performance was set for the following week.

My parents arrived to see the two impending productions, Peter Pan and Samantha, who was due July 28. Typical of our girls, this baby took her time getting here. July 28 came and went, as did the 29, 30, 31, Aug. 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, just as well since rehearsals took so much time. The nursery was far from ready; bags of baby clothes stacked on the floor. At least, the clothes were down from the attic, where we banished them after the last miscarriage; however, the musty, attic smell permeated everything. The onesies, t-shirts, sleepers, all the baby clothes needed a thorough washing before Sam arrived. The crib sat in the middle of the room, wiped clean but with no sheets or bumper pads. Little girl wallpaper in tiny bouquets of daisies, chosen by Meghan and Allie, lined the walls, while the trim and curtains stood against the closet doors ready for hanging. Mom and Dad gasped when they saw the work to be done. Mom immediately began sorting, washing, and folding, while Dad oversaw the curtain hanging and painting. Mom assumed kitchen duties, as she prepared chicken cacciatore, spaghetti sauce, Irish stew, zucchini casserole, then labeled and froze meals for the week. I relished the time—for once I had help—it was glorious.

On the night of August 5th, my parents babysat Meghan and Allie, while Dale and I jogged the hills of Indian Springs, hoping that sprints might trigger contractions. Nothing happened, probably because I ran throughout my pregnancy.  Sam arrived the next afternoon, once the doctor added a little pitocin cocktail to my contractions. Dad and Mom arrived at the hospital to see our newest baby girl, while Dale went home, still exhausted from his summer job of pounding nails with Alan Douglas Construction.  A few minutes after I gowned, Dad gently, ever so softly, held out his finger for Samantha. I cherish the precious picture the nurses took of a 63-year-old grandfather, my father, covered in neon yellow, sterile hospital attire. He smiled, almost a grimace from the uncomfortableness, and the nurses said he looked so nervous, so sweet. This was the closest my father had ever been to labor and delivery, since my siblings and I were born in the days when mothers disappeared behind closed doors, when chain-smoking fathers paced in the waiting room.

Sam and I went home the next day. Dale returned to work; Dad flew back to San Diego, leaving Mom, the first time I can recall my parents being apart. A hospital discharge nurse visited on my second day home to check Samantha’s and my vitals. She was barely able to squeeze a spot on the couch, as Meghan and Allie flanked me, each hugging a thigh, vying for positions to be closest to Sam. “Your blood pressure is a little elevated,” she laughed. “I suppose it will go down when you have a little space and time for yourself.”

31 Years of Memories–Year 8

Year 8 from 12/28/1989 to 12/28/1989—How We Got Our House
We camped during June and July, including visits to family in Southern California. When we returned, loads and loads of dirty laundry and piles and piles of filthy camp ware waited. In morning, the kids woke wanting pancakes for breakfast and lemonade with brownies for lunch. Perfectly sensible. Totally sugar. Definitely summer. I made breakfast, washed camp dishes, and sorted laundry. Meghan showed renewed interest in toys not seen for weeks and now scattered over the floor. The boys next door, Chris, Michael, and Douglas, appeared at the front door, wanting Meghan and our contribution to the neighborhood lemonade stand. They used Meghan’s Playschool kitchen, with a sign hanging from the plastic range advertising “Lemonade 20 cents,” and then ran up and down the street shouting the opening of their new business.
Meanwhile, Allie’s naptime at 11:00 was disrupted because of being home. Her summer naps often occurred in the car seat when we moved from one campsite to the next. Now, sleep in her crib was foreign—on a mattress in a quiet room. I asked my neighbor to watch the kids (fair exchange—paper cups and lemonade for ½ hour babysitting) as I put Allie in the car for a quick drive to help her fall asleep. Sure enough, a mile down the road, Allie’s eyes began to flutter and she assumed her sleeping position—car seat mode. I had a few minutes left on the clock, so I drove to where the sun was shining.
Indian Springs always held an attraction for Dale and me. Most of the time, the valley sucked in the fog like a giant vacuum. In summer, a dark line of dense clouds and mist hung over the entire valley floor. The plants loved this; we did not. I drove around the Indian Springs neighborhood, dreaming and looking at houses. Few homes were for sale this year—not a buyer’s market for sure. Whether it was the woman pulling weeds or the “For Sale by Owner” sign that caught my eye, I stopped in the driveway.

“May I see your house?” I assumed this was her place, not a neighbor’s she was weeding.

“Yes, of course, come in.” Didi, widowed a year before, had moved to her daughter’s home in town, returned periodically to check on the place. I knew as soon as I walked to the front door that this was our new home. The overgrown weeds, the unpruned roses, the sprawling mint, the gravel lawn (which I hate)—were cosmetic yard work which I love. The front doors opened to a magnificent valley view, the living room to a view of the oak forest. The layout of the house, despite the ugly orange and brown shag rug, was open and flowing. We needed to remove the layers of unsightly wallpaper, rip up the repulsive carpet, replace the broken tile, but the house would work. Most significantly, the pool desperately called for a fence, but the place was doable.
I asked the owner, Didi, “Can you take a contingency?”
She smiled and said, “Where do you live?”
I described our place and named the street, to which she replied, “Oh, I know that house. My daughter lives around the corner from you. May I see your home?”
“Sure, of course,” and by now I needed to get back anyway.
Didi followed me home to the disaster I left. Paper cups flew beyond our yard, to our neighbors on both sides and down the street. Breakfast dishes covered the counter and table. Laundry and camping gear, still not put away, surrounded the couch and the floor. Meghan’s toys, along with Chris’s, Michael’s, and Douglas’s multiplied in my absence, making one of the messier days I left. Didi and I sidestepped the debris, carefully dodging Legos, Lincoln Logs, and assorted body parts of Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.
“This is the same model as my daughters,” she chuckled, “I’ll take it.”
“Excuse me?” Not sure if I heard this correctly. “Did you say you’ll take it?”
“Yes, we can work this out.” Didi smiled sweetly and suggested I name the price for her home. I made an offer, knowing this was far below what her list price was, and she said, “Yes, that will work fine.”
I called Dale, who was working at his summer “fun” job of crashing computer programs for Digital Research. “Hi, Honey. I sold our house and bought a new one.” Of course, I gave a few more details. “Okay, great, I’ll stop by the library for the forms.” I realized afterwards that Dale did not question me, that he agreed to it sight unseen.
Two days later, we contacted the title insurance company and escrow began. On the third day, Dale dug trenches around the pool for a fence; I enrolled Meghan in Spreckels kindergarten class. The next two weeks we packed. We paid a team of our high school football players $20 per hour plus pizza to move Didi and us. Poor guys had to move furniture to and from both houses, but they loved earning money and eating food. Boxes lined our hallways from floor to ceiling. We did it—in two weeks, with library reference books and without realtors. The title insurance company representative told us he never, in his thirty years in the business, encountered such an efficient escrow.
The bus picked up Meghan at her new house on the first day of school. We were home.

31 Years of Memories–Year 7

Year Seven from 12/28/1988 to 12/28/1989

The Year of the Quake
Baseball fans and Northern Californians know well this date, October 17, 1989. At exactly 5:04 p.m., the earth shook for 20 seconds to a magnitude of 6.9, delaying the Oakland As and S.F. Giants World Series game, destroying sections of bridges, toppling houses, devastating lives. The earthquake reached the Monterey-Salinas area as well. We felt it. We lived through it. Here is our story.
That day, my physical science classes made ice cream, gallons and gallons of it, as part of the thermodynamics unit, while Nana Eva watched our girls. We made a variety of flavors from super rich vanilla, rivaling Häagen Daz, to cookies and cream diet version and everything between. High school students possess creative imaginations and mammoth appetites. We used over a dozen ice cream makers, hand crank of course, and by the end of the day, the metal tubs of ice cream firmed in the science and home economics freezers. Dale taught his usual schedule of biology, and then he rushed to the gym for a volleyball game against Salinas High.
At 4:00 p.m., I took Allie to her 1 ½ year old checkup, which included a multitude of shots. We left the doctors’ office, returned to the high school to watch the play against the number one girls’ seed. Meghan, meanwhile, frolicked beneath the wooden bleachers as Dale called plays from the sidelines, and I watched the game with Allie. Just as the team’s leading server threw up the ball, the quake struck. I saw the waves travel through the floorboards, across the gym floor, not sure, at first what I was really seeing. The lights went out. People dashed down the bleachers. I ran out the door carrying Allie and calling for Meghan. At least Meghan was inside with her daddy.
Swimmers, dripping from their workout, described huge waves while the pool lost a foot of water. The football team sprinted back from practice; many said the shaker knocked them off their feet. All of the sports fields, in fact, the entire school were built on sand dunes, trembled. Since this happened before cell phones, we heard about the epicenter, the magnitude, the disaster by car radio. Every few minutes another aftershock occurred and the school cleared out quickly. With the power out, I thought to rescue some ice cream out of the gallons and gallons we churned, so I ran to my classroom and grabbed what I could. That evening, we celebrated our neighbor’s birthday by candlelight and consumed copious amounts of ice cream.
Around 10 p.m., our sweet Allie was crying and miserable. Highly unusual for her, when it dawned on me, I never gave her any Tylenol after her shots as the doctor suggested. Poor little thing, she eventually fell asleep. I got into bed around 11 p.m., with the second floor of our house shaking like a cheap vibrating bed. So unnerving when you are trying to sleep. My eyes would drift and my thoughts float away, nearing sleep, when more quakes of varying intensities and durations rattled the house and me. One problem is you could never tell if a quake would subside or increase. I was ready to sleep in the car. The car might drop into an abyss, but nothing would fall on me. Dale’s solution, “Hey, if we are rolling around, let me rock your world.” What a man.
I am sure there were other significant events that year, but none shook my world as much as the earthquake in 1989 or none that I recall with as much vivid detail.

31 Years of Memories–Year 3

Year Three from 12/28/1984 – 12/28/1985

New Baby

At the end of the school year, I traveled to Alaska for a last, grand adventure before kids; tagged humpbacks, compiled whale research, hiked bear country, and photographed icebergs. We skied Yosemite during Thanksgiving break, slept in a Curry tent for one night, so cold you could see your breath. Thankfully, after skiing on the second day, we stayed in Yosemite Lodge, where the floor heating was like walking on hot coals, so hot it burned. I was five months pregnant with our first due in April.
Dale studied evenings solving computer or calculus problems, while I readied the nursery. Predictably, he had a second year calculus exam scheduled during my last week of pregnancy. Since our classrooms were three doors apart, I taught until my due date. We could leave directly from school; of course, nothing happened until the weekend. One of my senior girls also had a baby due about the same time. Although we never discussed our pregnancies during class, Stacy delivered her baby girl the same day, in an adjacent delivery room, and named her baby Megan Elizabeth with a slightly different spelling. Such a coincidence. Of course, this was the year of “The Thorn Birds” and Meggie was a popular name. Our Meghan Elizabeth was born April 30 at 2:30 p.m. in a quiet birthing room to soft music and dim lights. Dale bathed her in the LeBoyer method, then sang “Saint Judy’s Comet” as she gazed lovingly back at him. He changed the song to “little girl” instead of little boy. She was calm yet alert. It was magic.
Dale rescheduled his exam and Meghan attended his graduation at the Fort Ord Officer’s Club a month later.
We traveled during vacations to Southern California to “show off” Meghan. Each trip was a struggle, since she did not sleep during the long ten-hour drive. Our baby hated car seats, hated traveling, especially when windshield wipers were on. Intermittent wipers were the worst! These startled her and then the wailing continued until we shut them off and could not see where the heck we headed. In retrospect, Meghan was an “easy” baby, our lives were blessed, we were simply sleep deprived.

Caught in the Net

This time of year, I watch the spouts of the gray whales passing by the coast and I recall my stint of research in Alaska.  Although it has been years, my memories are as vivid as the icy spray that stings my face or the tingling of my toes in the Monterey Bay.  Not grays that we studied, but humpbacks, and the mist wisping above white caps on the ocean reminds me.

This particular expedition was in Southeast Alaska, around Admiralty Island, Baranov, Sitka, and Ketchikan, where we followed humpback whales, and recorded their songs and photographed their flukes. The purpose was to determine which whales traveled the Trans-Pacific, or down the Pacific coast, or across to Hawaii. The National Geographic Society photographed, while we documented everything else, entering all into an international cataloging system. It had long been observed that some humpbacks were “tagged” as far down under as Australia and as far north as Alaska, but some humpbacks followed a smaller migratory pattern of Alaska to Hawaii, while others wandered Mexico to Alaska, just as cruise ships follow different passages. Our task was merely to document—, which humpbacks traveled where.

The early days on board our vessel met with light rain, some wind, and swells—lots from different directions. This kind of weather often sends landlubbers down below deck, which is the worst possible place to be, while old “salts” face the elements, getting wind-whipped and wet, but not seasick. I remained above, rocking and rolling, acquiring my “sea-legs” and an appetite. In fact, I usually return from sea voyages ravenous and ready for a beer.  On this crisp morning, I dressed in my layers of long underwear with two pair of pants, covered by t-shirt, then flannel shirt and warm fleece jacket and hat, topped with wind jacket, and finally the Coast Guard approved PFC. We tracked two mothers and two calves as they tracked the krill. The mother whales lumbered along in a direct line, strictly business, mowing a straight lawn through the euphausids, small shrimp that is their choice of food. The babies, on the other hand, acted like any juvenile animals, never traveled in a straight line, but spy-hopped, breached, rolled, loped, sped up, then slowed down, in circles or in triangles, and often too far from their mothers.

This was the initial pod of whales to trail, and since I was one of few sea-worthy researchers, I had the first opportunity to board the Boston Whaler, the type of boat usually seen on the news—with recreational divers headed to a shipwreck or Greenpeace activists taking on something much bigger than they are. The four of us cautiously climbed aboard the small boat, timing our entries between swells. Meanwhile, perhaps a half-mile ahead, the two mother humpbacks pursued their meals with their calves alternating from side to side.  I secured my camera around my neck, ready to switch my lens to the telephoto, as my partners prepared the acoustic recording instruments. Ahead, the whales launched their bubble net. We cut the motor and drifted.

Directly in front our boat, perhaps 30 feet at most, the first of the bubbles surfaced. The whales submerged to feed cooperatively, releasing bubbles in a synchronous dance to trap the krill, just as bubbles pop from an uncorked champagne bottle. Only these bubbles are the size of giant balloons that pop to the surface in a boiling mass. One bubble then the next, then the next continuing in perfect circle, and once that circle is complete, the next circle fills inside the last, and then the same, ending with three perfect circles of bubbles. Finally, the whales emerge through the column of bubbles engulfing their trapped shrimp.

Sure to be the best shot ever, we were in the perfect position for capturing feeding behavior and sounds of the pod—being certain to maintain the required distance both for safety of us and for the natural behavior of those we were observing.  This picture would surely net me some cash, I imagined. National Geographic staff sat retching on the main ship, yet I was the lucky one to be on this voyage, while they were over a mile away.

However, as with any adventure in the wild, things never work out as planned. The surfacing bubbles did not form the concentric circles in front of the boat, but rather turned to go around us. We were directly atop the bubble net, and we watched in horror as one bubble slowly, methodically, every second made its way to the surface. One round of bubbles completed in thirty seconds, with just two more to go. We zipped our life vests, radioed the main ship, shouting our dilemma. Turning on the outboard motor was certain death as any serious disturbance, such as a motor directly above the whales, could result in breaching of the whales and tossing us into the 32-degree salty water, and it would be minutes before the main ship could rescue us. We said little in the next few minutes, waiting perilously, for what would happen next.

Nothing we could do. Just wait.

I zipped up my camera bag—not that it mattered.

I tucked in my flannel shirt, recalling simple life saving measures, but uncertain how I could move in the frigid waters.

No one talked.

We just waited.

And waited.

I thought about the life I had not yet experienced—children and unexplored places and things I wanted to know about.

I thought of goodbyes—to my sweet husband, to my family, to my friends, even to my first husband.

I thought of my life that at 30, I was still young—much too young to die.

I thought it was over.

Two bubbles shy of the last circle and the whales would be up. By now, I was silently reciting every prayer I could recall from twelve years of Catholic schools, and there were quite a few, but in such situations, which ones to say?  One bubble left, and the boat began to rock, rhythmically at first, increasing from every direction, as though whales were coming up on all sides. I braced myself against the front seat and there she was. So close, that the spout sprayed me with the most delightful mist. I captured the picture of that lovely blowhole. Mom or baby figured out something was directly above, abandoned the net, and moved off to one side, my lucky side of the boat.

One month later, after that bucket-list experience in Alaska, I was pregnant with my first child and celebrating life.