Category Archives: children

The Best Christmas Gift Ever

In fall of 1990, we moved to a fixer-upper in Indian Springs of the Monterey-Salinas area. Our list of projects was daunting–70s flocked wallpaper to remove, insulation to install, fences to mend, burnt-orange shag rug to pull, hardwood floors to lay down, and children to attend–of course–not in that particular order. We were still unpacking boxes when it came time to trim the Christmas tree and hang lights. Our children, ages five and two, were firm believers of Santa, so we tried our best to keep the magic going.

Sometime after Thanksgiving (not like now in September) and back when Sears and Target catalogs arrived in mailboxes everywhere, our littles were entertained for at least ten minutes, by pouring over the magazines and circling and numbering their wishes for Santa. Top of Meghan’s list was any play structure–any or all. The higher the ladder, the longer the swings, the more dare-devily the construction, the wackier the slides, the longer the monkey-bars, so much the better. That was all she wanted. She made this clear every visit to Santa and every day for days marching right up to Christmas. There was nothing else on her list.

The week before Christmas, Dale and I collapsed after completing semester grades for our high school classes. With no time to waste, we tackled family matters–top of the list was making Meghan’s play structure. However, a minor glitch happened when a northwest storm blew in dropping temperatures to well below freezing, as low as 23 degrees, and we now dealt with something more pressing, which was keeping pipes from bursting. Dale climbed into the crawl space and spent the first half of vacation insulating the ground-floor, as well as exterior pipes, to mitigate any potential problems. After all, we lived in California, not Maine or Alaska, and construction was just not the same. Our home was not built for temperatures like that.

Around December 23, Dale and I realized that Santa would be unable to fulfill Meghan’s only wish. So, I went to Costco. I braved long lines and dodged carts and fought other customers for what I figured would be the best alternative to a play structure. I bought a gorgeous Barbie, decked in a sparkly red ball gown, complete with high heels (what else) and bows of gold and silver in her glorious, wavy blonde hair. Breathtaking, really. Miss America almost. I wrapped Barbie in Christmas wrap, the special wrap designated from Santa, and wrote, under his guidance, that the play structure would come soon and Barbie could be Meghan’s playmate until then.

Christmas morning arrived with the expected high level of excitement. Our girls woke at some ungodly hour before dawn, and obeyed the established rule of opening their stockings before breakfast, saving the biggest and best presents for last. Everything in its own time. Stockings, next waffles, followed by, most importantly, parents’ coffee. Santa’s gifts arrived with anticipation!

Meghan, who could read few words, listened quietly as I read Santa’s note:

Dear Meghan,

You will get your swing set and ladder soon, I promise. I could not fit it all in my sled on this trip. In the meantime, Barbie needs a playmate.

Merry Christmas.

Love,

Santa.

Nothing is more devastating to a parent than to watch your child’s dreams dashed. Meghan didn’t say much. Her tears spoke volumes.

Actually, I do remember she said, “Why would Santa give me this?” in between sniffles.

Allie, on the other hand, took one look at Barbie and it was a match made in heaven.

“She’s so pretty” is what she gasped.

Meghan passed off Barbie and Allie could not believe the best dream she never dreamed was complete. That same afternoon, Dale and Meghan visited 84 Lumber, which happened to be open on Christmas Day. They brought home cement, wood, frames, and of course, a slide. The play structure was completed within a week.

Now, thirty-some years later, Dale’s carpentry skills are still at work. This week, Dale and Meghan set the posts, the beginnings of a play structure for our grandkids–Emmy and Theo. Emmy learned how to use the drill. Theo toddled around holding a screwdriver, sticking it into new drilled holes. Neither grandchild understands what the construction is going to be, but perhaps in this pandemic year, it will be something wonderful indeed.

Year 18 and Counting

I began this project a few years ago during our 35th year of marriage. It was supposed to be a Valentine’s gift to my husband. The plan was one special remembrance for each year. I sailed through years 1 to 17. Whether years 18 on were more difficult to write about or whether recent years—parents’ deaths, new grandbabies, retirement, and a move—something interrupted my writing. I am attempting this project again. Now we’ve made it 37 years, but like ocean tides going in and out, we hit high seas around year 20.

On the cusp of year 2000, some highly educated people in our neighborhood were freaking out over the change to the new millennium. These were doctors, who said that technology would be thrown into a tizzy with the change from 1999 to 2000. That everything linked to your name, identification, including bank accounts would crash. Some of these families began to stockpile, as though planning for the end of the world, like a harbinger of the Apocalypse. Really. Our neighborhood Bible study consisted of an M.D., a Ph.D., and everyone else had a B.A. or B.S. (so educated beyond high school), primarily Protestant, some evangelical. I bristled at many discussions, biting my tongue as conservatives railed against those who weren’t like them. Oh. My. Word. It was a difficult time for me—trying to appease the lions. I questioned who these people are, as the women (mostly stay-at-home moms) questioned me for working. The men generally stayed silent on this topic.

L.D.—I don’t know how you do it. I’m so glad my husband makes enough so I can stay home. It must be really hard for you.

Me—

S.M.—Yeah, I can’t see working and turning my kids over to somebody else.

Me—Sigh.

Ironically, I ended up teaching their kids in my biology classes. Dale and I drifted apart from these people, perhaps subconsciously adhering to a moral or religious divide. Maybe it was our kids moving on to different schools, or our switching jobs, but we didn’t socialize with them as much, except for the occasional wave as we drove up the street.

Instead our lives became entrenched in kid activities. Daughter M. was a 15-year-old sophomore, Daughter A. 12, and Daughter S. 9. M. competed in volleyball, swimming, and water polo, and A. played volleyball and basketball, and S. pursued theatre and horseback riding, and everyone did 4H.  Our new friends became parents of other teammates.  Daughter M. qualified for Far Westerns and other big events, often held at a swim complex in the Bay Area. Weekends began at 5 am, a two-hour drive with a McDonald’s breakfast on the way.  We loaded the car the night before with tent, sleeping bags, pillows, piles of towels (one per event, plus one per each warm-up), team parkas, hats, gloves, boots, nothing less even in summer. The difficulty was staying warm between events. During one swim meet in Walnut Creek, snow blanketed the hills and ice coated the deck. Hazard cones designated slippery spots, so swimmers accepted the challenge of a new sport—ice skating, while parents sat bundled in cars or by heaters under tarps.

To make a meet go faster, parents timed, judged, or scored, which meant donuts, lots and lots of them and all day long. Eating that Crispy Cream or maple bar with extra drizzle was optional, but few parents passed them up. Swimmers maintained their lean, sculpted physiques, while parents not so much. You could equate the better swimmers with their more portly parents, those who spent more time sitting at swim meets.  Dale and I trained as stroke coaches for U.S. Swim, where we walked the pool deck (trying to get some exercise), watching each stroke and turn by poor, exhausted little kids. The occasional swimmer who couldn’t pass muster (per U.S. Swim rules) tormented me as I much as I did him or her with that white DQ (disqualification) slip or “traffic ticket” (my phrase in an effort to minimize the damage).

Volleyball tournaments were a welcome change from the freezing cold of winter swim meets and scorching heat of summer swim meets. These tournaments were played inside a gym, where parents didn’t need to time, judge, or score, and the action lasted an hour, sometimes longer if the games were close, making the drive reasonable; whereas, some swim events finished under a minute. Daughter M. swam a 50 free in 26 seconds—and we drove two hours for that event—and then two hours home. But, hey, these were our kids and we were doing the parent thing. Dale and I traded weekends with daughters, but I usually attended swim meets since swimming was in my veins and background, while Dale, a former volleyball coach, became the volleyball parent. Through it all, we accumulated points at Residence Inns or Best Westerns, hotels of choice for traveling athletes because breakfast was included—that yellow blob of scrambled egg, on demand waffles, some sort of sausage or micro waved bacon and coffee of the blandest kind in the world.

When our youngest Daughter S. chose to compete in gymnastics, we were prepared to work the sidelines, whether it was bringing food & drinks, scoring, timing, or judging. We knew the “drill”—early weekend hours and two-hour (minimum) drives with sleeping athletes. We knew the costs of sports. What a welcome surprise for us at the first gymnastics competition—parents were banished to the stands, not permitted anywhere near the floor. Wootwoot! I read many books during gymnastics tournaments; looking up in time to watch the floor exercise or vault or whatever S. was doing. I even came to recognize which level competed by the music, synthesized variations of “tinny” sounding themes.  We came to enjoy, even relish, sports weekends, and then as all good things come to an end—our youngest daughter graduated, and so did we.

35 Years of Marriage–Year 17

This collection of stories is an anniversary gift to my husband of 35 years–one story for each year. Our 17th year was one of significant change. For nearly two decades, we both taught science at the same high school which we loved, and this was the year we changed districts, schools, and subjects.

After closure of Fort Ord, Seaside and Marina became ghost towns, and after years of signing transfer sheets for students who were moving, and years of dwindling course selections offered at our high school, and most importantly, years of declining income while our family expenses climbed, we made a decision. Eighteen years we taught at Seaside High, at a school, faculty and staff we loved, but we needed to move.

1999 was our last year teaching at Seaside. Whenever we mentioned we taught at Seaside, the usual reaction was,

“Oh my god, aren’t you scared of getting shot?”

“Aren’t you afraid of working there?”

“Wow, you’re brave.”

Public impression was we risked our lives to go to work. It was never like that. Students were sweet and respectful, and we figured we’d retire from that district.

Seaside students came from all over the world, sons and daughters of military personnel stationed on the Fort Ord Base. Seaside High (chanted in a deep voice with emphasis on “side,” as in “see-SIDE”) pooled together a fascinating combination of genes–Samoan/African-American, African-American/Asian, etc.  During the 1980s (heck, even now), the government expected teachers to count ethnicities within our classes. Seriously? Seriously. Of course, data recorded on scantrons, determined federal funds the school received, so we took this assignment seriously.

1999 was our first year teaching at Salinas High, John Steinbeck’s alma mater, and different from Seaside in many ways. 2600 kids attended, nearly 1000 more than at Seaside. Salinas lacked the diversity of Seaside; it seemed as if only two groups attended–farmers’ kids or farm-workers’ kids. Think of pre-packaged lettuce to chase the money. The “show-case school” of the district possessed beautiful architecture and strong history in town. Football games were the biggest (usually only) thing on Friday nights; parents and grandparents, mostly alums of Salinas or neighboring Catholic schools filled the stadium. Lots of “intermarriages” between Salinas High and Palma/Notre Dame alums, which made for exciting and packed volleyball, basketball, and football games.

That year, there was no welcome for new staff, rather colleagues demanded to know your stand on school issues, your stand with admin, etc. We left a school we cherished and moved into a scorching hot bed of politics, faculty taking pride in the rapid turn-over of administrators. I walked a thin line that school year–really three years until I had tenure. To say it was difficult to find friends on staff is an understatement, but we “first-year teachers” found solace in each other. And though I had taught 24 years, it felt like my first. I mourned the loss of our other school, eventually “found my way,” and celebrated that I worked at the same school of our oldest. Not just the same school, as a result of shuffling in the master schedule, daughter M. “landed” in my biology class.

Many in her class recognized me as the “science specialist” from their past elementary school.

“Hey, I remember you. You came to our class and we dissected owl pellets.”

Of course, that was then, ungraded and fun, this was now, graded and work. On the other hand, the class embraced the schedule change and me, which made the changes (districts, schools, subjects, and classes) worth it. Except for poor M.

I explained to my second period class. “M. is my daughter. She won’t call me Mrs. Harrison. She can call me Mom. If you call me that too, it’s okay.”

The class laughed and nodded agreement. Made perfect sense, still daughter M. avoided addressing me for that entire year.

35 Years of Marriage–Year 16 (Year of the Sheep)

I began this series as an anniversary gift to my husband, Dale. I didn’t make the postings in time for that anniversary, our 30th, as life interrupted my plans. But, we are still married and Valentine’s Day is approaching, so I continue.

If 1998 was our Year of the Pig, 1999 was our Year of the Sheep. And surgeries, several of them. February, 1999, our 4H girls decided sheep might be easier to raise, so we acquired two sheep–one for Meghan, one for Allie. Farmers and ag-people must be ROFL at this point. Sheep easier? What a bunch of city slickers. Yes, we were/are.

We learned about care, feeding, grooming, shearing, and I used my sewing skills for their skin-tight leotards. Who knew sheep needed a covering? Apparently, that wool keeps them warm at night, and where we lived they needed it. Who knew you use Woolite to wash a sheep? Yes, yes, you do. So many things I learned, and I studied biology in college–albeit not ag bio. There is a huge difference. My experience with organisms were 1) they were mostly dead and preserved or 2) they were of the microscopic variety, and on occasion, we experimented on each other in labs, e.g. human physiology tests on heart rate, etc. Never pigs or sheep.

While the sheep were fattening for the fair, I learned about nursing. Two days before school let out, Allie broke her leg, which required surgery and pinning. Poor thing, she occupied our couch for the first week of June, and literally got a “boot” in time for the next patient, Meghan, who had a scheduled orthognathic surgery, and a wired mouth for six weeks. Finally, Dale’s knee surgery, then he had the couch. Sam and I nursed the family and cared for the sheep (since their “farmers” were incapacitated) all June. By July, I needed a mental health break.

The stress of surgeries was slightly less than the stress of switching school districts, the latter offset by pay increases. I was shy one unit of graduate level physical sciences for my new position, and I found the perfect solution–a family road trip to Yellowstone, where I could take a University of Montana research level class in geysers, mud pots, and hot springs. We looked like a family who’d been in a car accident–Dale and Allie hobbling around, Meghan with her mouth wired shut, but what a trip we had. Visited Uncle Steve in Nevada and Uncle Carl in Idaho, camped in glorious Yellowstone, stayed with Aunt Claudie in Washington. Best part? No shortage of volunteer neighbors (parents and kids) who wanted to care for the sheep while we were out-of-town.

 

 

35 Years of Marriage–Year 15

1998 was the Year of the Pig, at least in our family.  In the Chinese calendar, it was the Year of the Tiger, but that summer we raised Rufus, a spring pig in 4H, and Meghan aged 13, Allie 10, Sam 7, and me and Dale middle-aged and feeling it.

After school and for several weekends, Dale and Meghan dug trenches and poured cement for a pig pen–one that a 250+ pound pig could not escape. We were city slickers, suburbanites really, and understood cats and dogs, hamsters and parakeets. With a dismal knowledge of livestock, we relied on 4H leaders to teach us what we needed to know, basically everything. As the saying goes, “When in the rurals, do as the rurals do.” We lived on the edge of suburbia, surrounded by farmland. We could do this.

Rufus arrived straight from his birthplace, a few miles down the road at a respectable 70 pounds. He needed to gain another 160+ pounds before the Monterey County State Fair. So, began our foray into farming, which meant extra work for me and Dale, as we oversaw twice daily feedings, stall cleanings, and pig walks, drove to feed stores for hay and feed, carted water to the trough, and drove kids to weekly 4H meetings.

Pigs are smart; they bark like dogs, chase paper flying in the wind, sprint when a gate swings open. Within minutes of “rooting” in his new pen, Rufus found the waterer, a large PVC pipe with a mammary gland-like metal tube. Knowing where to find water proves pigs’ intelligence, and Rufus was brilliant. He figured out how to shower by leaning his butt against the nozzle and make a sloppy pool of mud to wallow in. Five gallons of water emptied quickly, so Dale and I replenished the supply hourly. Good thing we were on summer break.

I cried during Rufus’s “weigh-in” at the fair, anticipating the loss of my swine companion, while Meghan calculated her potential earnings from his 265 pounds at auction. I think she looked forward to sleeping in past 6 am. Rufus won his weight-class, Meghan and Rufus performed well in showmanship, and I held it together until Sunday night when the fair ended. It took me  a year to recover emotionally.

In Memory of Matilda

I have not written in weeks—no time, no energy, no desire until this morning. My first period entered loudly as they always do, most of them slurping Monster for breakfast, and those who do not suck up Starbucks espresso. I have a cup of coffee to match their energy, but today was a little different. Adrien was gone all of last week at the Salinas County Fair and he returned solemn as though he lost his best friend. I get it. Fifteen-year-old Adrien raised a pig and sold it on Sunday. I asked if he said his goodbyes and he started to tear up and then I started to tear up and then the entire class hushed to hear our stories.

Me: I remember our family’s first pig. The night before we sold Brutus (appropriate as we are studying Julius Caesar), I cried. Our children did not cry until after the auction, when the truck pulled up and the pigs were marked with spray paint to determine their final destination, but I cried the night before. It was just as well, since I had serious consoling to do after the auction.

Adrian: (tears in his eyes, but thankfully, not on his cheeks) She was a great pig. I called her Matilda. She ran around, barked, and barked whenever she saw me. I fed her the last meal, and when I turned to walk away, she barked some more. She never did that before. (Now, the tears were on his cheeks.)

Me: I am sorry. I completely understand. Pigs are amazing creatures—so intelligent, certainly much smarter than sheep (hoping to get a smile).

Adrien: Yeah, she knew me. We had great times together. I tattooed her name on my arm so I will always remember her.

Adrian unveiled the scripted, black inked Matilda on his forearm. Priceless.

Okay, time to get to studies like Julius Caesar. I love this class. I am going to miss them. We bonded in the same way Adrian did with his Matilda (not that I should compare a class of sophomores to a pen of pigs—well, maybe). I am going to miss the way we seamlessly move from a sob story to laughter to somber discussion. This seldom happens, but when it happens, it is as indelible as a tattoo on the mind or heart.

31 Years of Memories–Year 14, Part 2

Second Half of a Duck’s Life 1996 – 1997

Registration forms for the Monterey County Fair were due in July. Meg and Allie, who were showing rabbits and pigs, suggested showing Quackers in the poultry division. We agreed that Quackers could join us at the fair, but no one had any desire to hold him. Quackers would be strictly “shown for judging,” but not in the “showmanship” event. No one in the family, or in the entire 4H club for that matter, wanted to participate in showmanship competition with that duck. Far too dangerous.

In showmanship, the 4H member demonstrates how to handle the animal, such as a sheep, pig, cow, or a duck. The competitor’s job is to present the animal to the judge and to demonstrate how easily he/she commands the animal. As an example, in pig showmanship, 4Hrs use canes for physical prodding to maneuver pigs around the corral. Come “fair time,” it is apparent which kids exercised their pigs and which kids did not. Pigs that dart while barking like dogs and that run down other pigs or small children or elderly are pigs that received inadequate exercise by their 4H member. Other pigs that stroll along with gentle encouragement by a cane to reveal their well-developed ham-hocks or muscular shoulders are pigs that received regular exercise. Poultry showmanship involved holding the animal and there was no way any of us could handle this unruly duck. The duck could compete, but not in showmanship.

The morning of the fair, we lined the familiar orange crate with a bedding of hay to drive the 20 miles with Quackers’s head peering out of the crate. He squawked the entire way as though giving us directions, as though he knew where he was going. At check in, the poultry division leader immediately called for the largest cage available—likely one used by Macaws, Iguanas, or something even larger. The leaders banded Quackers, checked him for disease, and pronounced him “a healthy, prime specimen.” Quackers attempted to bite their hands, but these seasoned professionals knew exactly how to handle this difficult bird.

The first day of the fair was children’s day, where processions of schoolchildren marched through the animal exhibits. Most of these kids lived in the city and only saw farm animals at fair time. The poultry barn was the first barn in the livestock area, so the children’s’ energy and enthusiasm for the day was at a peak of excitement. Posted at each entry to the barn, above each block of cages, on every post were signs cautioning people NOT to put fingers in the cages. Beneath the warning, in smaller print, was an explanation that this disturbs the fragile birds. Young children do not read signs, so teachers, chaperones, and poultry leaders cautioned children to look, but not to touch the cages. For some, of course, this was not a warning, but an invitation. Quackers was at the far end of the block, near the back, waiting. Kids ran their fingers along the cages just as they would run a stick along a picket fence, enjoying the thud-thud-thud and resulting flap-flap-flap as the birds freaked and flew to the back of the tiny cage for safety. Except when they arrived at Quakers.

Quackers squatted at the edge of his cage, ready to bolt for freedom, ready to reclaim his yard, ready to bite whoever dared approach. One crying, screaming child after another learned a lesson that day, and the poultry leaders loved that bird even more. At the end of judging, Quackers won Best of Water Fowl, Best of Show, and $14.

Quackers earned family respect and admiration by winning the titles of Monterey County Fair Champion Water Fowl and Best of Show in Poultry Division awards. He gave us excitement (chased children and wild animals from our yard), money (won $14 from the County Fair), and fertilizer (everywhere he waddled in the yard and on the deck), but the lovable Quackers, pet extraordinaire and award-winning duck, met an untimely death in the form of a neighborhood dog (or raccoon or skunk or possum or cat—the duck had many enemies) in early fall.

I will never know what beast the duck encountered, yet I have no doubt that there was quite a struggle. Judging by the down feathers and fur floating in the air and on the trees, the blood-stained dirt, the trampled bushes, Quackers must have inflicted his share of wounds upon the perpetrator (as he did on all of us). As the sayings go, “He who lives by the sword must die by the sword” or “All bills must be paid.” The duck attacked everyone, except perhaps Dale—the alpha male of our flock, who dared enter his domain. In fact, the night before he died, Quackers brutally bit a skunk on the nose. I knew what was going to happen next, so I darted out the garage and into the backyard, which, of course, meant the duck now had to chase yet another invader from his yard. I owned the house; the duck owned the yard. He quacked, released the skunk’s nose, and went after me. The next day the duck died and we cried.

We received the call from our whimpering children who arrived first and witnessed the carnage. It has taken years of therapy to relieve them of the trauma. Though the girls considered Quackers a general nuisance, avoiding him at all costs, their phone call betrayed their true feelings, “Ducky’s dead. He’s dead.” I cried with them. He was fodder for many a story—shoot—he could have been a book.

Dale drove quickly home to bury Quackers beneath our fruit trees, a veritable orchard and pet cemetery in our yard. Beneath each fruit tree (and we have dozens) lie the remains of cats, dogs, rabbits, birds, hamsters, and now our duck. Dale had skinned several of our previously dead animals, just like out of those crazy, southern backwoods shows on television. Rex, our 4H show rabbit who died years before, was our first model with a hide we deemed too precious to waste. Dale skinned that thing, stretched and salted it, and we both used the sample fur for years in our biology classrooms. In fact, I passed the “skinning” technique on to my biology classes, as we “harvested” the hides of fetal pigs from dissection, using them for hacky-sacks or mini-footballs (pigskins for pigskin).

However, Quackers’s death was different. The wafting down feathers might have made a pillow or jacket, but not this time. Quackers required a deep hole and resting place near the plum-tree and beneath his old swimming pool. Our family needed a break from the drama.

31 Years of Memories–Year 14

First Half of 1996 – 1997

Our girls were 5, 8, and 11 when I returned to teaching high school full-time. This was the year of Quackers the duck and our immersion into the world of 4H, starting with poultry and rabbits, and then moving to sheep and pigs. One afternoon, Sammy brought home a special “gift” from her kindergarten class, a newly hatched, almost neon yellow duck. Quacker’s webbed feet never touched land as he was passed from one girl to the next. Most days, he slept contentedly in the palms of his many little mothers, within another hand’s reach of duck feed. Quackers thrived and pooped and pooped and thrived. At night, he slept in a refurbished hamster cage, which lasted about a week, as he quickly outgrew that abode and moved into the chicken coup.

Our cat, Ginger stalked him wherever he waddled, so our girls and their friends stood guard while he was young. However, ducks grow quickly, even faster than children do, and within a month, Quackers was twice the size of the cat. Ginger kept her distance—the two paced on the backyard deck—meowing and quacking, respectively to come into the house. By three months, in duck adolescence, Quackers was like something out of a Dr. Seuss book—a brown, white, yellow mishmash of colored feathers on short legs, long neck with a beacon of an orange bill. As he grew, he became territorial; hence, our assumption that this duck was a male and no 4H leader was going to “sex” him to find out.

One morning, Allie opened the chicken coup to release Quackers for his daily foraging of our yard. As she lifted him out of his cage, he flapped his white wings that proved flightless, which landed him squarely between the cage and a bale of hay. Bottom up and webbed feet kicking furiously, Quacker’s neck and small head wedged firmly in the narrow spot, while poor Allie screamed for help, but by the time I pulled Quackers free, he was bleeding from his bill, which I deduced brain damage. Sure enough, the next few days Quackers staggered around the yard, twisting his head to one side to see with his one good eye. He was a sad, nearly blind duck—a large, flightless Pekin better for a meal than anything else, but slowly, over weeks, Quackers recovered.

At four months, Quackers had developed into a well-fed Pekin, ready for a banquet. He flourished from the exercise and endless supply of food. The exercise came from chasing small children who ran about our yard. Not that he would eat any of them, but countless kids from the neighborhood sustained tiny red welts from his bill-bites, as he latched on the thinnest piece of skin and held tight. I was the nurse for many. Once safely atop the play structure, the children were stranded by Quackers, who circled the area, quacked loudly, and waited to strike unaware children who swung too low, or dropped from the rope, or slid down the slide, or jumped off the monkey bars. He was there. Waiting. Quacking. Again, I rescued kids with my mop in hand and defended against duck-attacks.

By summer’s end, after months of hosing off the deck or walkways or wherever the duck waddled, months of dashing outside mop in hand to protect small, defenseless children, I was “done with duck raising.” Time to release our assailant. Quackers clearly outgrew our domain, one-half acre was insufficient territory. He needed a more expansive spread; say the entire pond at the bottom of our hill. The hills beyond our house were nearly limitless—expanding into 1500 acres of wilderness, a regional park. Quackers could roam forever–free at last!

We found a large orange crate in which Quackers could sit, and then with smiles amid tears, we marched down the hill. Each little girl sniffled her goodbyes, sure that he would miss her and she would miss him. Dale brought the camera; we would have pictures. We reached the edge of the pond where Dale tenderly placed the box of Quackers. The five of us plus duck stood our places at the lip of the pond. I focused the camera, ready for action. Nothing happened. We waited—no flapping of wings, no quacking. The duck remained in the box, and he was not going anywhere. Quackers looked at Dale, with pleading in his eyes, and he turned his head from side to side to make sure Dale saw both eyes (prey, of course, have eyes on the sides of their head). He waited for his master, Dale to do something. Dale reached down and removed Quackers from the carton. The duck moved as close as possible to Dale’s size 14 boot, which Quackers knew well, but the boot was a safer bet than the unknown but beautiful pond. So, we stood—duck, Dale, me, Meg, Allie, and Sam for the longest time. No one moved.

After a few minutes, Dale with soft and gentle hands that Quackers never experienced before picked up the duck. He lovingly stroked Quackers’ long white feathers, spoke kind words, and said, “Goodbye. Be strong. Be a duck.” Then, he tossed him, as a quarterback would throw a football to a receiver at the far end of the field. Quackers instinctively flapped, which, of course was useless. He landed with a giant splash because he was such a beefy bird, and sprinted out of the water as though chased by some predator. Now, he was quacking, loudly, furiously, and shaking. He ran to his master’s side and Dale tried again. In fact, Dale tried to get rid of Quackers at least five times. Each heave met with a quacking duck, exiting the water faster than before—taking off as a seaplane. After an hour of unsuccessful attempts of introducing Quackers to our pond, we gave up. He was going home. To our house. I did not know whether to laugh or cry.

31 Years of Memories–Year13

Changes Ahead

12/28/93 – 12/28-94

While our kids, Meghan, Allie, and Sam were little 10, 7, and 4, I worked half-time, Dale worked time and a half, his summers spent in construction as a tradesman-carpenter in electrical, plumbing, and carpentry on assorted remodels or new homes. Each Christmas, I consulted Alan Douglas, Dale’s friend and employer, for tool suggestions. Alan directed me to the right store, exact machines and best prices, so for these years, Dale acquired new skills and skill saws or saws-all or jig-saws or drills or whatever a good tradesman needed. Little did we know at that time how these skills and skill saws would be used, but that is a story yet to come.

For one brief blip during my teaching career, I shared a fourth grade position with Jan Nutton. Jan taught Monday and Tuesday and I Thursday and Friday, while we shared Wednesday.  It was quite an adjustment moving from high school to elementary, despite the fact that La Mesa was a science magnet school with field trips nearly every week. I delighted in teaching a variety of subjects and considered staying at fourth grade when the year ended.

Fourth grade children usually enjoy school, unlike teenagers, and they offer their teachers cards of devotion on random occasions or hug their teachers at moments of celebration or sorrow or boredom or giddiness. Not much triggers a hug, and initially, I struggled with the steady barrage of embraces, as this was so foreign from high school student behavior. I stood tall and immobile as one child after another lunged at me “hello,” “goodbye,” “good lunch,” or “nice break. ” Okay, that was weird—students marched in line –but not without the requisite contact. By high school, there is no marching except for ROTC, and hugs morph into high fives or slaps on the back or fleeting eye contacts, the latter the more typical. Elementary students gave wings to my heart every day. They tugged on my shirt, sweater, and sleeves. They hovered around my desk. They gave glittery, flowery cards, both girls and boys, cards unlike anything my husband has bestowed upon me, and he has given me plenty of cards. I received apples, oranges, pears and roses—for no reason. Dale is romantic, in a practical sense; his roses were the potted kind we added to our garden.

This year, we rushed to school or to day-care or to soccer practice or to swim practice (both of us), or wallowed in dirty laundry or clean clothes (mostly me), kept up with shopping and meals for five (me), maintained working vehicles (Dale), maintained plumbing or wiring or flooring or whatever the house needed (Dale),  kept up with yard work (both of us),  brushed and backwashed the pool (mostly me), bought clothes for growing children (always me)—all of which took hours of our days and weeks and weekends.

The dilemma of fourth grade verses high school hovered over my head for weeks, until I finally decided that high school anything was more stimulating than fourth grade curriculum; I returned to the high school campus and down the hall from Dale.  It was a difficult decision—a melancholy for the sweetness of young children and their precious gifts for the mania of high school adolescents and their exuberance for life.

31 Years of Memories–Year 12

31 Years of Memories—Year 12

12/28/1992 – 12/28/93

Sam was 1-year-old, Allie 4, Meghan 7, Dale 42, me 38, and Fort Ord 75 years old and the base was closing. Congress warned in the “Base Realignment and Closure Act” that closure of Fort Ord was imminent. In response, our school district initially did the responsible thing and generated a list of employees, their priority numbers based on year hired and subjects taught. The lists hung on public bulletin boards near bathrooms, in teacher lounges, next to mailboxes or in mailboxes, on any available space on campus. It was the first question asked when you met someone.

“Hi, so, where are you on the list?” or “Hi, what’s your number?”—so GATACCA-like in nature.

To which the ubiquitous response was “Oh, I already have a job in ______________” or “I am safe. They won’t get rid of math or science teachers” (implying that these lucky people were more valuable that the rest).

To which the usual reply was “Oh, yeah, sorry, about that and good luck on the job search” or “Wow, yeah, you’re in a good place.”

Dale and I were momentarily safe, yet the stress on our family was as insidious as a cancer diagnosis with its impending treatment. We were only “safe” until the next CAT scan or PET scan, or in our case, the updated list. No one knew exactly what effect the departure of 22,000 troops would have on local schools and businesses, but there was plenty of speculation.

We had seen the army come and go with a variety of deployments. In 1989, the seventh IDL deployed to Panama to restore order and then captured, Dictator Manuel Noriega. In 1990, the seventh IDL joined the coalition troops in the Middle East to defeat Iraq during Desert Storm. One of the last deployments was to quell the 1992 Los Angeles-Rodney King riots. Each time, when Congress called out the Cavalry, it took its toll on our students, most of whom cried for days while we consoled and tried to teach them. Often, bomb threats to the campus accompanied the deployments, as though students had anything to do with the government decisions. The bomb scares were nerve-wracking distractions as we stood in evacuation lines for an hour or so, until the military police secured the campus.

So, we were familiar with the military response, but nothing prepared us (and the school district) with the rapidity the military used for the base evacuation. The day after the government announcement, oversize eighteen-wheelers carted off military mobile homes to God-knows-where. Each day, three to five students submitted transfer requests; my average class enrollment of thirty dropped to five students. Our district could do nothing. Teachers signed contracts in September at the beginning of the school year and Congress decided in October to close the base. Every teacher remained in class, regardless of student enrollment, while school funds plummeted with ADA (average daily attendance) as over 500 students dropped to Germany, Hawaii, Korea, or wherever the military sent its troops and their families. We began the year with over 1300 students and ended with barely 400. Dale and I survived for this year.

I jogged, during my fourth period prep, through the ghost town of a base. No sounds from abandoned homes, no evidence of life, no evidence of succession in that first year. It was a significant year of change for all of us.