Monthly Archives: January 2014

31 Years of Memories–Year 11

12/28/1991 – 12/28/1992

Down But Not Out

This year was with illness, but not without humor. Kids are walking vectors of disease; ours were no exception. Sweet Allie, Mommy’s little helper at three years old, licked spoons clean then carefully placed them back in the silverware tray, until I saw what she was doing. In the meantime, we shared whatever viruses the girls brought home from school or day care.

One particular night, I recall falling into bed about ten, exhausted from the day and asleep within minutes. Sleep was never a problem for me, since I learned during nursing not to waste precious sleep time before the next feeding. Around midnight, baby Samantha woke crying and I vaulted out of bed in time to find her projectile vomiting over her crib and the floor. I cleaned Sammy while Dale changed the bedding and started the wash. After I rocked her back to sleep, I climbed into bed around one a.m. Again, asleep within minutes.

An hour later, I had this strange awareness from somewhere deep within my dreams that someone was watching me. I opened one eye to find Allie standing next to me with a sick look on her face.

“Oh, God, no, not on the new wood floor,” I screeched.

I did the only sane thing a crazy person would do in the middle of REM sleep, unable to find a bucket or a trash can. I put out my hands, in time to catch chunks of vomitus, hot, Level 4 viral liquid that spewed from Allie’s mouth. Dale leaped out of bed again and ran to my side. Like the cartoon where the guy hits the banana peel and flips upside down, Dale hit the slop, his feet launched in the air, and he landed on his back in the mess. I rushed poor, sick Allie into the bathroom, and returned to find Dale moaning on the floor.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Obvious, but I had to ask. Once I knew he was fine, I started laughing. I know. I know. What kind of wife and mother would do such a thing? I am not heartless, really I am not, but I have a twisted, slapstick sense of humor, and for that moment, we were living it.  It was tragic but absolutely, hysterically funny. It took another hour of caring for Allie and Dale and the floor, before I got back into bed.

At three a.m., it was Meghan’s turn with this intestinal illness. We bathed her, cleaned her sheets, finally back in bed by four a.m., both parents now queasy. Whether a lack of sleep or the intestinal flu, we knew we needed substitutes for school in two hours.  We were not going to release Nana Eva that morning, as we needed a nurse ourselves.

A few months later, a decade before the chicken pox vaccine, Meghan came down with a raging case of the chicken pox that mirrored her metabolism. She was miserable, covered head to toe with itchy welts, but as quickly as the chicken pox developed, it disappeared within days.  Two weeks later, Allie’s version of chicken pox appeared, but her case was quite different, with few new poxes cropping up every day for a month. We calculated from the exposure and incubation time that Sammy’s case would likely appear in two weeks. Sure enough, with exquisite timing, Sam’s poxes emerged as I arrived in Mississippi with Meghan for the International Science Fair, leaving Dale to deal with the situation at home. By then, he was masterful at lathering on Calamine lotion and in consoling sick babies.

31 Years of Memories–Year 10.5

5/1991 – 12/1991

Second Act

In May, kindergartener Meghan auditioned for a part in the local production of Peter Pan. She won the notable role of the ant, which meant she crawled fully costumed across the stage, remained motionless at a designated spot, sang with the chorus, then curtseyed at the curtain call. During one seemingly endless practice, I calculated the total hours we spent—125 hours of rehearsal for her 30 seconds on stage—that did not include the two-minute curtain call.  On opening night, family and friends asked for Meg’s autograph, which took some time, as she painstakingly printed “Meghan Harrison” on each program. My performance was set for the following week.

My parents arrived to see the two impending productions, Peter Pan and Samantha, who was due July 28. Typical of our girls, this baby took her time getting here. July 28 came and went, as did the 29, 30, 31, Aug. 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, just as well since rehearsals took so much time. The nursery was far from ready; bags of baby clothes stacked on the floor. At least, the clothes were down from the attic, where we banished them after the last miscarriage; however, the musty, attic smell permeated everything. The onesies, t-shirts, sleepers, all the baby clothes needed a thorough washing before Sam arrived. The crib sat in the middle of the room, wiped clean but with no sheets or bumper pads. Little girl wallpaper in tiny bouquets of daisies, chosen by Meghan and Allie, lined the walls, while the trim and curtains stood against the closet doors ready for hanging. Mom and Dad gasped when they saw the work to be done. Mom immediately began sorting, washing, and folding, while Dad oversaw the curtain hanging and painting. Mom assumed kitchen duties, as she prepared chicken cacciatore, spaghetti sauce, Irish stew, zucchini casserole, then labeled and froze meals for the week. I relished the time—for once I had help—it was glorious.

On the night of August 5th, my parents babysat Meghan and Allie, while Dale and I jogged the hills of Indian Springs, hoping that sprints might trigger contractions. Nothing happened, probably because I ran throughout my pregnancy.  Sam arrived the next afternoon, once the doctor added a little pitocin cocktail to my contractions. Dad and Mom arrived at the hospital to see our newest baby girl, while Dale went home, still exhausted from his summer job of pounding nails with Alan Douglas Construction.  A few minutes after I gowned, Dad gently, ever so softly, held out his finger for Samantha. I cherish the precious picture the nurses took of a 63-year-old grandfather, my father, covered in neon yellow, sterile hospital attire. He smiled, almost a grimace from the uncomfortableness, and the nurses said he looked so nervous, so sweet. This was the closest my father had ever been to labor and delivery, since my siblings and I were born in the days when mothers disappeared behind closed doors, when chain-smoking fathers paced in the waiting room.

Sam and I went home the next day. Dale returned to work; Dad flew back to San Diego, leaving Mom, the first time I can recall my parents being apart. A hospital discharge nurse visited on my second day home to check Samantha’s and my vitals. She was barely able to squeeze a spot on the couch, as Meghan and Allie flanked me, each hugging a thigh, vying for positions to be closest to Sam. “Your blood pressure is a little elevated,” she laughed. “I suppose it will go down when you have a little space and time for yourself.”

31 Years of Memories–Year 10

10 Years a Family

10 Years a Family

Year 10 from 12/28/1990 to 12/28/1991
Ski Trip Extraordinaire

When I started this series of postings, I limited myself to the best events each year. That was my goal. I could write a realistic blog, which includes tragedies and mishaps, instead I deliberately chose to focus on uplifting, positive moments. That said it is important to preface some posts with sad facts that preceded events. For example, I miscarried twice before the birth of Allie. Therefore, when Allie finally arrived, we celebrated even more because we understood how fragile life and pregnancies were. I miscarried again following Allie. The doctor suggested this unusual loss at nearly 20 weeks was likely a cord problem, so I was reticent about another baby. I decided the best attitude was “Que sera sera” or “Whatever will be will be.” I remember our discussion on our ninth anniversary at the Carmel Mission Inn about trying once more. Dale was nearing 40 and I was 37. Our little “Que Sera” came nine months later and with an attitude to match.
A drive to work on a January morning, my radio tuned to the local 60s & 70s station, I half-listened to the D.J. pitch the station’s latest contest for three nights at Squaw Valley Resort. “The lodge front doors just steps to the ski lift, the 5 star restaurant atop the mountain, Olympic Village ski runs for Olympians through beginners,” he rambled on. I was on “autopilot,” ready to sing along boisterously, no passenger to correct my sharp notes or to complain about my interpretation of songs from my youth. The morning whizzed by and I headed home around noon, ready to begin my alternate life as supermom. As I drove up the hill, the afternoon D.J. said, “We will take the 7th caller for our contest. Call now and you could win three nights at Squaw Valley Resort.” I screeched into the driveway, sprinted into the house, ignored my kids and their Nana, grabbed the phone and dialed.
I never do this. I never enter contests. I never win. If I buy lottery tickets, it is once a decade. If I go to Las Vegas or Reno, I go to the shows. I do not throw coins in the machines or on the tables. I am not a gambler. But, on this one day in my lifetime, I was.
And I was the seventh caller.
The man on the other line asked, “How many steps from the lodge to the ski lift?”
Me—“37, 37, 37”—screaming, shaking, leaping up and down, and nearly crying–I knew this answer.
The man—“Are you sure?”
Me—“Yes, yes, yes! I know this! I heard it on the morning show,” I yelled into the phone. Nana and the kids stared at me as though I lost my mind.
The man—“Okay, congratulations, you just won three nights for a family of four to stay at the Squaw Valley Resort. Stay on the line for more details.” I heard the background noise of the radio as he put on the next set. He returned with the direct line to the resort and the reservation redemption code. Apparently, many other stations were offering the same package. It was a drought year and rocks were showing on the main slopes.
I called immediately to make reservations for spring break in March. The reservation clerk of Squaw suggested I save the trip until the following fall or winter, as there might be better skiing.
Clerk—“You won’t be able to ski in March,” he explained. “We expect to close the resort in a week, unless we get more storms. It doesn’t look promising.”
Me—“No, I need to go this spring, not next fall, because I am pregnant. I have two kids now, but I will have three kids next fall. It will be simpler in March.” I could not convince the guy it was easier being pregnant with two kids than having three little ones.
So, I made our reservations for a trip seeing wildflowers and hiking in the woods instead of skiing on Olympic runs. Then, the rains began and did not stop the entire month of February. In fact, January to February went from being one of the driest on record to the wettest in a month. Salinas had two 100-year floods in a row within a span of weeks. The snow pack exceeded 50 feet, nearing Donner Peak record levels, and the resort stayed open until mid-July. We skied fresh powder and walked all of 37 feet to the ski lift every day.

31 Years of Memories–Year 9

Year 9 from 12/28/1989 to 12/28/1990

Puff and Puff Paint

When we moved to Indian Springs, we increased our mortgage and decreased our salary by one-fourth. Not a shrewd idea, but we did anyway. Dale worked longer hours and additional jobs to make ends meet, so I could stay home while our kids were little. He saved us hundreds of dollars on the electric bill by insulating our crawl space. When our neighbors’ water pipes ruptured because of the long freeze, we were warm, we survived.  He garnered extra money as a musician, even using his accordion skills on occasion, though most of his work was on Sunday mornings at First Presbyterian Church. I found a job share partner, which meant I taught first through third periods and Pam Hopkins taught fourth through sixth.  This way, I maintained my skills in science while Meghan attended kindergarten and Allie napped or attended Mommy and Me classes with Nana Eva.

The bus picked up Meghan at our house (kindergarteners have this service), and she left wearing sweet, floral pinafores with combed hair, clean face and returned in disheveled dresses, tattered leggings with messy hair, sticky face. Meghan played hard, a rough and tumble girl, who wore dresses with pants beneath, as was the style of the kinder world. Allie wore tutus every day; lined up her Wee People on the fireplace insert, cradled her “Puff”—a fluffy pillow/blankie, and lived in a wonderful, imaginary world. Thumbelina shared a home in the backyard. Skittles people—orange, yellow, green, and red families—played with the Wee people and survived until ants or Meghan ate them.

I loved my life. I enjoyed challenging classes with semi-adult persons who responded in multi-syllabic sentences (yes, I am referring to high school students), followed by a run on the Marina State Beach, then to Allie’s world of make-believe. It was a magical time for me because I loved my family, teaching, and running.  To save money and to fix our house, I peeled wallpaper daily (layers and layers), painted when the kids played, planted a garden, set a walkway, yanked juniper and mint from every corner of our yard. The invasive species grabbed hold of our property, cropping up after each rain. I filled pillowcases with snowy-white Marina sand after each jog and poured it between the bricks of our walkway. Moved gravel from front to back (eventually back to front) and began our rose garden. Planted grapes around the pool fence—big mistake but made beautiful pictures in the fall. Made jams, jellies, sumptuous vegetable soups from the neighborhood farm at the bottom of our hill. I dehydrated anything that looked edible. I sewed all manner of dresses and play clothes for the kids. To top it off, this was the year of Puff Paint. I puff painted everyone sweatshirts for Christmas. I was at my creative best.

31 Years of Memories–Year 8

Year 8 from 12/28/1989 to 12/28/1989—How We Got Our House
We camped during June and July, including visits to family in Southern California. When we returned, loads and loads of dirty laundry and piles and piles of filthy camp ware waited. In morning, the kids woke wanting pancakes for breakfast and lemonade with brownies for lunch. Perfectly sensible. Totally sugar. Definitely summer. I made breakfast, washed camp dishes, and sorted laundry. Meghan showed renewed interest in toys not seen for weeks and now scattered over the floor. The boys next door, Chris, Michael, and Douglas, appeared at the front door, wanting Meghan and our contribution to the neighborhood lemonade stand. They used Meghan’s Playschool kitchen, with a sign hanging from the plastic range advertising “Lemonade 20 cents,” and then ran up and down the street shouting the opening of their new business.
Meanwhile, Allie’s naptime at 11:00 was disrupted because of being home. Her summer naps often occurred in the car seat when we moved from one campsite to the next. Now, sleep in her crib was foreign—on a mattress in a quiet room. I asked my neighbor to watch the kids (fair exchange—paper cups and lemonade for ½ hour babysitting) as I put Allie in the car for a quick drive to help her fall asleep. Sure enough, a mile down the road, Allie’s eyes began to flutter and she assumed her sleeping position—car seat mode. I had a few minutes left on the clock, so I drove to where the sun was shining.
Indian Springs always held an attraction for Dale and me. Most of the time, the valley sucked in the fog like a giant vacuum. In summer, a dark line of dense clouds and mist hung over the entire valley floor. The plants loved this; we did not. I drove around the Indian Springs neighborhood, dreaming and looking at houses. Few homes were for sale this year—not a buyer’s market for sure. Whether it was the woman pulling weeds or the “For Sale by Owner” sign that caught my eye, I stopped in the driveway.

“May I see your house?” I assumed this was her place, not a neighbor’s she was weeding.

“Yes, of course, come in.” Didi, widowed a year before, had moved to her daughter’s home in town, returned periodically to check on the place. I knew as soon as I walked to the front door that this was our new home. The overgrown weeds, the unpruned roses, the sprawling mint, the gravel lawn (which I hate)—were cosmetic yard work which I love. The front doors opened to a magnificent valley view, the living room to a view of the oak forest. The layout of the house, despite the ugly orange and brown shag rug, was open and flowing. We needed to remove the layers of unsightly wallpaper, rip up the repulsive carpet, replace the broken tile, but the house would work. Most significantly, the pool desperately called for a fence, but the place was doable.
I asked the owner, Didi, “Can you take a contingency?”
She smiled and said, “Where do you live?”
I described our place and named the street, to which she replied, “Oh, I know that house. My daughter lives around the corner from you. May I see your home?”
“Sure, of course,” and by now I needed to get back anyway.
Didi followed me home to the disaster I left. Paper cups flew beyond our yard, to our neighbors on both sides and down the street. Breakfast dishes covered the counter and table. Laundry and camping gear, still not put away, surrounded the couch and the floor. Meghan’s toys, along with Chris’s, Michael’s, and Douglas’s multiplied in my absence, making one of the messier days I left. Didi and I sidestepped the debris, carefully dodging Legos, Lincoln Logs, and assorted body parts of Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.
“This is the same model as my daughters,” she chuckled, “I’ll take it.”
“Excuse me?” Not sure if I heard this correctly. “Did you say you’ll take it?”
“Yes, we can work this out.” Didi smiled sweetly and suggested I name the price for her home. I made an offer, knowing this was far below what her list price was, and she said, “Yes, that will work fine.”
I called Dale, who was working at his summer “fun” job of crashing computer programs for Digital Research. “Hi, Honey. I sold our house and bought a new one.” Of course, I gave a few more details. “Okay, great, I’ll stop by the library for the forms.” I realized afterwards that Dale did not question me, that he agreed to it sight unseen.
Two days later, we contacted the title insurance company and escrow began. On the third day, Dale dug trenches around the pool for a fence; I enrolled Meghan in Spreckels kindergarten class. The next two weeks we packed. We paid a team of our high school football players $20 per hour plus pizza to move Didi and us. Poor guys had to move furniture to and from both houses, but they loved earning money and eating food. Boxes lined our hallways from floor to ceiling. We did it—in two weeks, with library reference books and without realtors. The title insurance company representative told us he never, in his thirty years in the business, encountered such an efficient escrow.
The bus picked up Meghan at her new house on the first day of school. We were home.

31 Years of Memories–Year 7

Year Seven from 12/28/1988 to 12/28/1989

The Year of the Quake
Baseball fans and Northern Californians know well this date, October 17, 1989. At exactly 5:04 p.m., the earth shook for 20 seconds to a magnitude of 6.9, delaying the Oakland As and S.F. Giants World Series game, destroying sections of bridges, toppling houses, devastating lives. The earthquake reached the Monterey-Salinas area as well. We felt it. We lived through it. Here is our story.
That day, my physical science classes made ice cream, gallons and gallons of it, as part of the thermodynamics unit, while Nana Eva watched our girls. We made a variety of flavors from super rich vanilla, rivaling Häagen Daz, to cookies and cream diet version and everything between. High school students possess creative imaginations and mammoth appetites. We used over a dozen ice cream makers, hand crank of course, and by the end of the day, the metal tubs of ice cream firmed in the science and home economics freezers. Dale taught his usual schedule of biology, and then he rushed to the gym for a volleyball game against Salinas High.
At 4:00 p.m., I took Allie to her 1 ½ year old checkup, which included a multitude of shots. We left the doctors’ office, returned to the high school to watch the play against the number one girls’ seed. Meghan, meanwhile, frolicked beneath the wooden bleachers as Dale called plays from the sidelines, and I watched the game with Allie. Just as the team’s leading server threw up the ball, the quake struck. I saw the waves travel through the floorboards, across the gym floor, not sure, at first what I was really seeing. The lights went out. People dashed down the bleachers. I ran out the door carrying Allie and calling for Meghan. At least Meghan was inside with her daddy.
Swimmers, dripping from their workout, described huge waves while the pool lost a foot of water. The football team sprinted back from practice; many said the shaker knocked them off their feet. All of the sports fields, in fact, the entire school were built on sand dunes, trembled. Since this happened before cell phones, we heard about the epicenter, the magnitude, the disaster by car radio. Every few minutes another aftershock occurred and the school cleared out quickly. With the power out, I thought to rescue some ice cream out of the gallons and gallons we churned, so I ran to my classroom and grabbed what I could. That evening, we celebrated our neighbor’s birthday by candlelight and consumed copious amounts of ice cream.
Around 10 p.m., our sweet Allie was crying and miserable. Highly unusual for her, when it dawned on me, I never gave her any Tylenol after her shots as the doctor suggested. Poor little thing, she eventually fell asleep. I got into bed around 11 p.m., with the second floor of our house shaking like a cheap vibrating bed. So unnerving when you are trying to sleep. My eyes would drift and my thoughts float away, nearing sleep, when more quakes of varying intensities and durations rattled the house and me. One problem is you could never tell if a quake would subside or increase. I was ready to sleep in the car. The car might drop into an abyss, but nothing would fall on me. Dale’s solution, “Hey, if we are rolling around, let me rock your world.” What a man.
I am sure there were other significant events that year, but none shook my world as much as the earthquake in 1989 or none that I recall with as much vivid detail.

31 Years of Memories–Year 6

Year Six from 12/28/87 to 12/28/1988

We Expand Our Family

We were masterful parents with one child, we could do two; besides, among our closest friends, it was oft discussed that you were not a “real parent” until you had more than one. As in, “Pfft. What do they know?” we scoffed as we observed other “starter” parents. Parenting doesn’t count until you have deal with sibling rivalry, sibling fighting, etc.–the whole Cain and Abel stuff.  Allie arrived April 12, 1988 after a year of extreme highs and lows—the birth of Allie followed my miscarriage of twins. We purchased a Volvo station wagon after a car accident totaled the Honda Accord. In school, my earth science students who had written to astronauts, received personal letters in response to theirs, and many letters arrived on the days following the Challenger explosion. Dale won the Sigma Chi Teacher of the Year Award for biology, I won Jaycee Teacher of the Year and Sierra Club Teacher of the Year award for environmental science, but we had difficult working conditions as he coached volleyball and worked extra jobs in computer science to make ends meet and no pay raise for us in the near future.
Allie was an easy baby. We knew this driving home from the hospital. She slept in the car seat, both of us half-expecting wailing since that was Meghan’s M.O. I remember Dale saying, “Hey, let’s drive somewhere, anywhere—she’s asleep!” So amazed were we. That year we attempted more family trips, but my personal favorite was a ski trip to Bear Valley. By then, Allie was 8 months and a tranquil traveler, unlike Meghan who screamed, “Stop, here, okay?” at every “golden arches” she saw along the road, and there are lots of McDonald’s on the way to anywhere obese.
Again, our mantra was to maintain an active life-style, in spite of now two children. Cross-country skiing was the ideal solution to family time and exercise for Mom and Dad. We bundled up our girls, in layers and layers of long underwear, sweaters, snowsuits, mittens, snow goggles, and hats, ready for a perfect snow day. The ski shop fitted our four-year old, Meghan with the exact size of skis, no poles necessary and best of all, the fjellpulken or Swedish towing sled for Allie. Inside the sled, a tiny seat sat suspended by coiled springs, in front, a windshield for protection from wind and snow. The fjellpulken attached to the waist of the “towing” parent by means of a tow bar, which stopped the sled and kept it from careening into the parent. We tucked our bundled up bundle of Allie and headed for the cross-country ski trails. Allie latched onto the edge of the windshield like a piece of Velcro—not certain what new adventure was in store. We securely strapped her in, placed additional blankets around her, along with lunch and snacks for four, frozen water bottles, diapers, diaper changing pad, wipes, toys, first aid kit, extra pacifiers, bottles, dry baby clothes, everything responsible parents bring for a simple outing.
Freshly groomed trails through the pristine pines began a few feet from the lodge, but far from the bathroom, Meghan’s first stop, of course. After undressing, “potty-ing”, and dressing, we eventually got going. Allie’s mittened fingers still firmly affixed to the windshield and her pacifier in place, we began. One smooth stride on the skis gently rocked her seat back and forth, Allie’s firm grasp loosened. Another stride, another gentle sway, one hand dropped away. By the third complete motion by the towing parent, Allie’s hands released the windshield, her eyes closed, her breathing deepened, like every time we put in a car seat. Moreover, Meghan, our rabbit, found every bunny hill on and off the groomed trail. It was a perfect snow day.

31 Years of Memories–Year 5

Year 5 from 12/28/1986 – 12/28/1987

Cabin Camping
Dale and I were active adults BC (before children) and we were determined that having children would not alter that behavior, that we would not succumb to the couch, or to Daddy-Dockers to Mommy Jeans to elastic waistbands. Seriously. We ran with Meghan in the pre-jogging stroller, the double wheels vibrating like an old ’50 Chevy that exceeded 50 mph, with her gums (pre-teeth) chattering over every bump in the road. We played intermittent tennis games while Meghan toddled around the adjacent tennis court, certain to stop a rally whenever she stepped on our court every minute or so. We hiked, as long as ever, only not as far. In fact, we learned the incontrovertible rule of the age of the child equal to the total miles a family could hike without serious catastrophe. For example, Meghan was 2 ½ and our hikes were about that in miles (total per day) and all was well. Any farther, things deteriorated inversely to the time it took to get there.
We thought we had this parenting thing down, or at least the car camping part. Since children take to camping like a labrador to sticks, like a cat to cat nip, we headed to Dale’s property in Cascade, Montana, 30 miles from the nearest town of 500 people. A remote place, just on the eastern side of the divide, where the National Park Service drops errant bears, where hunters prowl in search of deer and antelope—this is where Dale’s cabin was and where we stayed.
It took four days to get there, four agonizing days of eight excruciating hours of the Cinderella tape played incessantly (at least 130 times going there), with Meghan screaming “play it again” each time the tape ended (18 minutes 45 seconds) and not a wink of sleep from her car seat. Finally, with the last few bumps and turns of the road, just as we pulled to the site of the cabin, Meghan mastered the art of sleeping in the car; the rhythmic bouncing on the unpaved washboard of the county road rocked her to sleep. All we had to do was find other backcountry roads for the return trip, and maybe, we could make it back in time for the start of the school year. It was late June, plenty of time.
The rustic cabin was one room with exposed insulation on the walls and plywood for floors, a wood burning stove for cooking and heating, yet this possessed more comfort than the tent. Dale built a ram pump, so we enjoyed running water and a stream fed solar shower. A hammock strung between two beautiful aspens provided the perfect napping place for our toddler, for any of us. A creek, barely a trickle in summer, at the bottom of our hill provided hours of amusement for Meghan, where she was safely entertained with mud and rocks and bugs and water. Meghan ran between swinging in the hammock to splashing in the water. It was a glorious vacation, primitive, elemental, fun.